My Unicorn Child

Explaining why to Moo has always been my prerogative. If she’s ballsy enough to ask me “Why?” I will always explain it to her. Thing is? She understands. I think she’s a unicorn.


“Please don’t touch the stove.”


“The stove is hot when it’s turned on, and if  touch it, you will get a big ouchie. If you get a big ouchie, we will have to call the wee-wow.* I don’t want you to get a big ouchie, so please don’t touch the hot stove.”

*wide eyes* “Okay.”

She’s never touched the stove. In fact, she will tell me “I see the fire on the stove; that means it’s hot and I don’t touch the hot stove because then we’ll have a big ouchie and Sarah will be sad and have to call the wee-wow.”

“Please scoot back on the potty before you go.”


“If you’re going potty, and you don’t scoot back, you might pee pee on the floor. Then Sarah will step in it and I’ll have wet pee pee feet. Who wants pee pee feet? Not me! Do you?”

“No!!!” *giggles* “I’ll scoot back.”

She oftentimes calls out from the bathroom “I scooted back today! No pee pee feets!” She’s darned proud to understand.

“We should walk through the house instead of slithering like a snake.”


“Sarah doesn’t sweep and mop everyday, so there is always a little bit of dirt on the floor. If you slide all over the floor, you’re being my mop and your pretty Elsa dress is getting little bits of dirt all over it.”

“Then you’s gonna have to wash it and I can’t wear it if it’s not clean!”


Sometimes I don’t have to explain why; she’s getting to the point where she’s working out her own logic. It’s really fascinating for me to watch. Her development is speeding along and I’m in the car with my seatbelt tightly fastened.


Mooster regularly devours vegetables. She covers her mouth when she sneezes. Over the last weekend, family friends stared agog when she asked her daddy, “May I please have some more watermelon?” She understands those please, thank you and your welcome phrases and integrates them as standard. I’m raising a polite kid! I’m raising a polite kid!

Do your kids respond to logic when you answer their questions? Do your kiddos like vegetables? Are they regular manner-utilizers?

Do you have a unicorn child like mine?


*wee-wow = ambulance/police/fire/any truck that makes a noise

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