Favorite Wardrobe Pieces

  1. Reef Women’s Dream Flip Flop: the most comfortable flip flops I’ve ever invested in. screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-1-46-28-pmI’ve worn through three pair since moving to California seven years ago. I live in flip flops, so I know which are comfortable. These? Black on black perfection on my sock-hating feet!
  2. Banana Republic Zero Gravity Skinny Ankle screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-1-48-42-pmjeans: I buy these most often from the outlet store, but I would gladly spend $120 on a pair of Banana Republic Zero Gravity Skinny Ankle jeans. They stay UP all day (zero gravity!) and they are thick enough to feel like denim. They look like leggings, work like denim, and squeeze my butt perfectly. I love these jeans. I did find that you can get a pair of Banana Republic Factory Regular Skinny-fit jeans  on Amazon if you’re looking to pay half-price!
  3. Maidenform’s Women’s Dream Lace Hipsters are my go-to undies. screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-1-57-12-pmI’ve got fifteen pair (all a size too big now!) and I wear them with anything and everything. I rarely ever get a panty line from these undies, and I always feel cute, if not sexy, in them. The lace does tear easily, but if you’re aware that you’re pulling on lace, you can keep it in one whole piece. There are dozens of prints and patterns you can choose from, and even though they’ll cover your booty, they’ll also make your man want to take them OFF your booty.
  4. Since I’ve been working out, my least favorite body part has shrunk. I’m thrilled screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-1-59-43-pmbecause it means I can then wear these Bustier Floral Lace Crop Top Bralettes instead of the Maidenform maximum coverage nude boring bras. I wish now I had purchased a few of these in bright cheerful colors, but for now I own a white, black, and nude one. I also would recommend buying a size smaller than you think you’ll need. Maybe it’s just me, but screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-2-06-47-pmI bought a large, and my chest is now apparently a medium! Anyway, it’s stretchy, comfortable, the lace is not itchy, and the straps stay up. This bralette is even cute enough to poke out from the side or bottom of a tank or crop top if you’re brave!
  5. Throwing on a cute tunic top over my Banana Republic skinny jeans is the way to go — no matter how much wheat I’ve eaten the day before, I can hide a bit of bulge with a beautiful blue top. I also am of the mindset that LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS and so if I want to wear leggings, I also have to wear something that screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-2-09-42-pmkeeps my booty and front-junk covered. Throwing on a blue tunic makes my eyes pop (they are blue, too), and covers all the requisite parts, so I’m absolutely comfortable all day long.
  6. The final addition to my favorite pieces of an outfit are a set of silver splashy earrings. The pairs I’ve been wearing lately have been an investment from StitchFix, but Amazon has heaps of sterling silver earrings that I could lovingly add to my collection. These Sterling Silver Filigree Teardrop Earrings from Amazon would be among the first additions to my collection.

 

What are some of your favorite wardrobe pieces?

Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

Radical acceptance is a key in keeping my brain level throughout the roller coaster of life.

Radical acceptance is acknowledging “your present situation… without judging the events or criticizing yourself.” Thinking about your situation without feelings can ease the troubled feelings that may arise from whatever you’re dealing with.

In order to remind myself that I can accept whatever comes my way, I’ve curated a list of “Radical Acceptance Coping Statements” that I remind myself of.

  • The present is the only moment I have control over.
  • The present moment is perfect, even if I don’t like what’s happening.
  • Feelings aren’t facts.
  • Here and now only.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of other coping statements a person can use.

  • This is the way it has to be.
  • All the events have led up to now.
  • I can’t change what’s already happened.
  • It’s no use fighting the past.
  • Fighting the past only blinds me to my present.
  • It’s a waste of time to fight what’s already occurred.
  • This moment is exactly as it should be, given what’s happened before it.
  • This moment is the result of over a million other decisions.

Radical Acceptance Coping Statements

  • I/they did that because it was their ‘job’ at the time.
  • I know it is supposed to be this way right now because that’s how it is.
  • I don’t need to fight reality.
  • I acknowledge what is.
  • I/they have done what I could.
  • This is the reality now.
  • No amount of emotional or mental resistance can change what’s already happened.
  • The best way to prepare for the future is to accept the past and present.
  • I can accept (fill in the blank) if or when it happens in the future.
  • I am at peace with him/her/event/situation.
  • I can handle (fill in the blank).
  • I am, in fact, dealing with (fill in the blank), even if I sometimes think I’m not or think I can’t.
  • Worrying about it or having negative feelings about it won’t change it.
  • Everything has a cause.
  • I can let go of this.
  • Whether or not I accept this, it is still the reality. I can choose to accept it.
  • I can choose to deny reality and suffer, or accept reality and find more peace.
  • I can allow the world to be what it is.

 

Ultimately, shit happens, and there’s not always anything you can do about it … but you can accept it without criticism and judgement with a coping statement.

Do you have a favorite radical acceptance coping statement? Which one of the above strikes you the most? Can you write it on a Post-it note and tuck it away in your wallet for regular viewing? I bet you can.

 

This post inspired by a section in The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook.

Irons in the Fire

I have too many irons in my fire. I like to be busy, and since I’m not working, I have to make my own busy … and I’m doing too many things not well enough lately.

  • I have writing to do.
  • I have bullet journaling to do.
  • I have blog posts to draft.
  • I have a house that needs a fall-cleaning.
  • I have laundry that needs washing, drying, folding, and away-putting.
  • I have a to-do list that needs attacking.

I’m not doing any of these at 100%, and in fact, some of them are being thrown by the wayside (when was the last time I wrote?) to handle other things. I want three irons and three fires. I need to consolidate my brain into little compartments full of tasks and open a SINGLE drawer at a time.

I’ve spent the past two or three years wondering if I don’t have adult attention deficit disorder. I am a Gemini, so my mind is always going in 93,000 directions at the same time, but I’m almost to the point where I can’t get anything done even when they’re little goals. I need a new mindset. Time to find a book.