Living in a sports bra

Every day last week I made my fitness and my healthy eating habits a priority. It also means I’ve been wearing a lot of different workout clothes and almost living in my sports bras and sneakers. They aren’t the most flattering styles I have, but they do the job for my 21 days of jumping and running around. It works.

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I haven’t seen a change (it’s been, but I feel a change. It’s not the easiest thing I’ve ever done (in fact it might be one of the harder things I’ve tried), but I’m TRYING.


One of my biggest changes is that I’m concentrating on portion sizes while I work with nutrition. I’m using a specific set of containers to help me measure, and I’m pleased with the heaps of vegetables I’ve been cramming into my body (so. much. spinach.) and thrilled that raspberries have become a staple as my snacks. I’ve been avoiding the ice cream, cookies, and JUNK that Coop brought home almost completely, which is a huge victory for this sweet toothed lady.

I still drink too much coffee (though my water intake is now HIGHER than my coffee intake) and I’m modifying my workouts as I need to; but I’m TRYING.

I want my body to look different … so I have to do something different to my body. Little steps will add up to a long marathon, and eventually I will see the difference.

What are you doing this May to help your body be the best that it can be?

21 Days Later

Today begins a three-week stint of life-changing choices.

  • I choose to drink 80 ounces of water each day for the next 21 days.
  • I choose to exercise EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the next 21 days.
  • I choose to try to eat 5 fruits & vegetables and 4 proteins each day for the next 21 days.
  • I choose to stop putting sugar or milk in my coffee for the next 21 days.

I’m concentrating mainly on the two goals at the top of that list … drinking water and exercising regularly.

I bought a scale and a soft tape measure, and I’m going to record the numbers but not concentrate on them.

I don’t like to work out. I really don’t. I hated it while I was working out today, and tomorrow I’ll probably hate it, too, but I DID IT which is what counts for me.

I’m keeping myself accountable though, so I’m pushing for the changes even though I’m not enthused about them right now. When I see results (months out, I know), I will be glad that I stopped hating exercise enough to make myself feel hot.

I snapped some photographs last week of my body in a swimsuit; and while I probably won’t be sharing THEM on the blog, I have them to look at later. I have a disordered relationship with eating, food, and exercise, so sorting out my thoughts here hopefully will help.

What is your favorite exercise?

Owning what I can

Since I’m not going back to work part- or full-time any time soon, I have to find things to occupy my time in productive, healthy, and family-oriented contributions. Some of those things are easier to add to my resume than others. Either way, whatever I choose to do, I am choosing to do it all the way and all the way well.

Thinking about what I do for a living

  • slaying the laundry
  • scrubbing dishes
  • meal planning, preparation, and cooking
  • cleaning the house
  • Mooster’s bathtime (my facilitation of this became a ritual in our house)


Then there’s some other stuff that I do to keep myself busy and living …

  • mechanical turking – a great article from Salon explaining why I work for $1.45 an hour sometimes
  • writing the next great American novel – did you know I’m writing a book? I am. It lives inside my head … and a little bit of it now lives in one of my Moleskine Cahier journals. My novel involves a lot of research (which I love) and connects to my own personal history in a few ways, so I’m feeling good about where it’s going.
  • photography – whether it’s taking photographs of things in nature, of my Mooster, or of the food I’m cooking, I truly do love to snap pictures. I added my Instagram feed to the blog because it’s become that important to me.
  • working out, drinking water, and eating well – One of my invisible illnesses really gets in the way of these three, so it’s become a bigger priority in the past couple of weeks. I’ve committed to three weeks of heightened water intake and daily workouts, so we’ll see if I can manage!
  • getting enough rest – yes, this is important in my life; I don’t live well without sleep. This job is one of my most imperative – I cannot handle taking care of everyone and everything else unless I’m getting seven to nine hours of sleep daily. Unfortunately, I can’t function without seven or more hours. (I wish I could.)

These things I do I do well. I own what I can, and so my dinners are multi-colored with vegetables, hearty starches and seared meats. I took Coop on a date with my mechanical turking bonuses (and got summer clothes for Moo with the income). My words are thoroughly researched and edited before I share them. The laundry is done well and regularly and my people rarely go anywhere with a wrinkle on them. I #ownwhatIcan and do the things I do do well and completely.

I own what I can. It’s one simple way I am learning to live with my disability.

Two May Goals

I haven’t set actual New Year’s resolutions in years, but I’m committing myself to two goals in May.

May 2016 Goals

1. write every day

I carry around my favorite little red notebook everywhere I go, and I always have a pen (I’m a writer, it’s habit) so it should be easy to write every day, but there are days I don’t remember to take my medication I’ve been on for years, so should is operative. I can write something everyday, even if it’s a simple haiku.

I plan on snapping Instagram shots of each day’s writing — even if you can’t tell what I’m writing, join me on Instagram to see #MyMayWords. It also means I’m going to have to dig out a new notebook; this little red one is almost filled. I wish I didn’t own 14,391 blank notebooks already, because I really want to invest in a Cadillac notebook (a new Moleskin Classic Notebook, large, squared, blue, hard cover) instead of my pre-0wened beat-up Ford Escort (Moleskin Cahier Journal, large, ruled, kraft brown, soft cover). Oh well, I’ll use what I have for now. I’m going to write #MyMayWords each and everyday.

2. move every day

Interestingly enough, this May goal is scarier than the previous. I’ll turn a thirty-even number this year and I realize that I have a kid who runs around endlessly … as close to literally endlessly as she can … and I can’t keep up with her. I can’t keep up with my unicorn child. This is unacceptable. I’m not okay with this.

Thankfully, I’m friends with Kylee, a remarkable Diamond BeachBody coach who is encouraging me to take care of myself and helping me get started. I’ve committed to being accountable to myself when it comes to workouts and nutrition.

I don’t like to sweat. I think my sweat is gross. I am squicked out by the feeling of a drop of sweat rolling anywhere on my body. I am frequently sweaty (thanks to anxiety, chasing a 3.5 year old, or cooking over the hot stove), so I choose not to exercise because then I’m less sweaty. That is changing.

I’m scared.

I don’t like to sweat.

I have to change that mindset though, and learn to appreciate what it means; I’m strengthening my body and mind. I have to remember that this effort to get healthy now, will benefit me for the rest of my life. I have to remember that my entire outlook will not change in a day, a week, or even a month; but I can change my outlook on exercise. I have to remember that this is something I can own; it’s one of the only things I can control.

May is around the corner (you ready to say “rabbit rabbit“?) and putting some goals “onto paper” is a indicator of success in achieving goals.

What are your goals for the month?