Radical acceptance is a key in keeping my brain level throughout the roller coaster of life.
Radical acceptance is acknowledging “your present situation… without judging the events or criticizing yourself.” Thinking about your situation without feelings can ease the troubled feelings that may arise from whatever you’re dealing with.
In order to remind myself that I can accept whatever comes my way, I’ve curated a list of “Radical Acceptance Coping Statements” that I remind myself of.
- The present is the only moment I have control over.
- The present moment is perfect, even if I don’t like what’s happening.
- Feelings aren’t facts.
- Here and now only.
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of other coping statements a person can use.
- This is the way it has to be.
- All the events have led up to now.
- I can’t change what’s already happened.
- It’s no use fighting the past.
- Fighting the past only blinds me to my present.
- It’s a waste of time to fight what’s already occurred.
- This moment is exactly as it should be, given what’s happened before it.
- This moment is the result of over a million other decisions.
Radical Acceptance Coping Statements
- I/they did that because it was their ‘job’ at the time.
- I know it is supposed to be this way right now because that’s how it is.
- I don’t need to fight reality.
- I acknowledge what is.
- I/they have done what I could.
- This is the reality now.
- No amount of emotional or mental resistance can change what’s already happened.
- The best way to prepare for the future is to accept the past and present.
- I can accept (fill in the blank) if or when it happens in the future.
- I am at peace with him/her/event/situation.
- I can handle (fill in the blank).
- I am, in fact, dealing with (fill in the blank), even if I sometimes think I’m not or think I can’t.
- Worrying about it or having negative feelings about it won’t change it.
- Everything has a cause.
- I can let go of this.
- Whether or not I accept this, it is still the reality. I can choose to accept it.
- I can choose to deny reality and suffer, or accept reality and find more peace.
- I can allow the world to be what it is.
Ultimately, shit happens, and there’s not always anything you can do about it … but you can accept it without criticism and judgement with a coping statement.
Do you have a favorite radical acceptance coping statement? Which one of the above strikes you the most? Can you write it on a Post-it note and tuck it away in your wallet for regular viewing? I bet you can.
This post inspired by a section in The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook.
Ghandi had it right.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
What do you believe in? What are you thinking about? What are you saying? What are you doing? What do you value? You have choices; make them good, even if they’re little.
The little choices add up. Make them count.
Right now, I am without super helpful mental health insurance, so I am doing a lot of self-care and self-help. In three of the four seasons of the year, I utilize a SAD Lamp to help with my circadian rhythms and exposure to light. Every day I work through a few pages in a self-help book in hopes of learning the as much as I can about myself and my situation.I also use an iPhone app which
Currently I’m using a book that was mailed to me in April during Booksgiving titled The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook (Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance). This DBT book is fantastically rated on Amazon (and on sale right now!) and after I finish my copy, I plan to do a thorough review and give away a copy of one of the most helpful self-care books I’ve utilized.
Since I’m working on Making some changes around Eleventh Street, I’ve been spending quite a bit of time offline doing some old school pen and paper writing.
What am I writing lately?
A blog business plan!
I invested my first bit of effort into research. The question “What do I need to do first?” led me to resources for infopreneurs by Regina. I quickly located her clear, simple, and easy-to-understand instructions on How to write a blog business plan like an expert.
There is something comforting to me about using a notebook and pen to develop my ideas, and now six pages of my current bullet journal are filled with musings about my vision and my ideal reader and blog categories. I’m overwhelmed thinking about blog products and services I could offer my ideal readers; addressing affiliates, partnerships, and sponsors before I’ve even decided whether I’ll keep this blog name* is intimidating.
Fleshing out what I want, where I see myself, and what I believe Eleventh Street Lot can accomplish is eye-opening; I have dreams and goals for this place!
What do my blog dreams involve?
Words – books, reading, writing, and my own original ones
Home Ec -cooking, recipes, groceries, and budgeting
Crafting – photography, handmade cards, journaling, coloring, and collages
Health – fitness, food, mental health, self-care, and self-improvement
What else would you like to see when you walk down Eleventh Street?
*Eleventh Street Lot has a soft spot in my heart, but the name is a mouthful, there are multiple ways to type it (after hearing it, do I use the number or the word eleven?), and I am clarifying a mental image of what the lot on 11th Street consists of.
“You know I’d never say anything to hurt you, right?”
If you don’t have a partner who is willing to say this to you, I hope you have a best friend who will.
Sometimes hearing the truth hurts, but knowing that I have someone who is willing to tell me the truth has comforted me lately.
I had a hard truth to hear and an attitude choice to make, and some decisions from the Universe to accept.
I’ll come to terms with this. #comingtoterms
I’ll talk about it more. Eventually. Probably.
Things aren’t changing as much as how I’m looking at things is changing.
… change is good … I like change … I can do change …
It doesn’t take much to soothe my wounds. Seriously, I can tide over near-tears frustration with a few tater tots and a cup of Burger King coffee.
After being told my insurance card showed an inactive status at a doctor’s appointment I’ve literally waited a month for, I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry!
I didn’t cry!
Last week I tried to see a new doctor in order to get this health business sorted out … and it was a fail. If I had done this appointment three months ago, I would have been a dissolved blubbering mess in the clinic, and I would have been even more embarrassed because I made a scene as a grown woman. The cycles of panic, anxiety, and depression are so so tight and nasty.
I’ve since discovered that I do have health insurance, but it’s through a different carrier, which means I have to make some important phone calls early next week to see another new doctor.
The day this happened, I didn’t give up after my appointment; I did the rest of my errands and I kicked the day’s behind. These little successes are only little to everyone else.
For me, any success is success.