Is this thing on?

Sometimes my life gets so busy, and I get so busy actually living life, I forget to prepare the blog. I should plan ahead, but even planning day-to-day activities is a new feature in my life, so planning for weeks ahead of time is ludicrous. Weekends with Moo are jammed packed with family time, so I don’t blog or think too much about the blog while I’m away loving my House of Bad Musicals*.

Anyway.

I haven’t forgotten I’m a writer; it’s one of my Two May Goals of which I’m 3/3 officially today. Yay me!

I’m going to start looking at an actual calendar and planning things for the weekends I know I’ll be mom-ing. I think this will help me assuage some guilt about not consistently developing my voice around here.

I also added my Instagram feed to the layout … I take a lot of photographs of regular life and I’m proud of them. Most of the photographs are of cooking adventures (most tagged #callthefiredepartment) and it may be that I start adding and linking the recipes around here; I’m being asked about the foods I’m photographing. I think I’m finding something.

Thanks for the likes and the follows around here; I’m seeing hits from around the world and am glad that you can relate. Go off and burn like the sun … it’s worth it.

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 11.22.00 AM

*Moo is at the stage where she sing-narrates everything. Both Coop and I are known to sing-narrate a line or two of our days to one another, so it’s pretty hilarious at times when we’re all doing it together. The House of Bad Musicals.

 

Two May Goals

I haven’t set actual New Year’s resolutions in years, but I’m committing myself to two goals in May.

May 2016 Goals

1. write every day

I carry around my favorite little red notebook everywhere I go, and I always have a pen (I’m a writer, it’s habit) so it should be easy to write every day, but there are days I don’t remember to take my medication I’ve been on for years, so should is operative. I can write something everyday, even if it’s a simple haiku.

I plan on snapping Instagram shots of each day’s writing — even if you can’t tell what I’m writing, join me on Instagram to see #MyMayWords. It also means I’m going to have to dig out a new notebook; this little red one is almost filled. I wish I didn’t own 14,391 blank notebooks already, because I really want to invest in a Cadillac notebook (a new Moleskin Classic Notebook, large, squared, blue, hard cover) instead of my pre-0wened beat-up Ford Escort (Moleskin Cahier Journal, large, ruled, kraft brown, soft cover). Oh well, I’ll use what I have for now. I’m going to write #MyMayWords each and everyday.

2. move every day

Interestingly enough, this May goal is scarier than the previous. I’ll turn a thirty-even number this year and I realize that I have a kid who runs around endlessly … as close to literally endlessly as she can … and I can’t keep up with her. I can’t keep up with my unicorn child. This is unacceptable. I’m not okay with this.

Thankfully, I’m friends with Kylee, a remarkable Diamond BeachBody coach who is encouraging me to take care of myself and helping me get started. I’ve committed to being accountable to myself when it comes to workouts and nutrition.

I don’t like to sweat. I think my sweat is gross. I am squicked out by the feeling of a drop of sweat rolling anywhere on my body. I am frequently sweaty (thanks to anxiety, chasing a 3.5 year old, or cooking over the hot stove), so I choose not to exercise because then I’m less sweaty. That is changing.

I’m scared.

I don’t like to sweat.

I have to change that mindset though, and learn to appreciate what it means; I’m strengthening my body and mind. I have to remember that this effort to get healthy now, will benefit me for the rest of my life. I have to remember that my entire outlook will not change in a day, a week, or even a month; but I can change my outlook on exercise. I have to remember that this is something I can own; it’s one of the only things I can control.

May is around the corner (you ready to say “rabbit rabbit“?) and putting some goals “onto paper” is a indicator of success in achieving goals.

What are your goals for the month?

6 Things I Love

… to celebrate Valentine’s Day, here are six things I love …

  1. Stabilo pens – they’re perfect for coloring finer areas in coloring books, they write beautifully in my journal, and they come in a million zillion colors that I have fun mixing and matching each day. (Stabilo 88 25-color Pen Set*)
  2. a perfectly made cup of coffee – about a tablespoon of sugar and four or so tablespoons of milk in a strong cup of hot coffee makes it perfectly sweet and creamy enough and the temperature is good for gulping. (Starbucks Medium House Blend Ground Coffee 12oz)
  3. sleeping in – Moo has a love of 6:35am and so sleeping until 7:15am is precious to me, and sometimes I even get 8am if I’m lucky. Being able to sleep enough is necessary for my sanity. (IMAK Compression Pain Relief Mask and Eye Pillow, Cold Therapy for Headache, Migraine, and Sinus Pain, Patented, Universal Size)
  4. The Walking Dead” – Coop introduced me to this show about three weeks ago and we’ve been binge watching it since then. I’ve never been “into” zombies before, but the craftful telling of a story is definitely my forte; I’m addicted! We’re almost through with season three … and I’m stoked that I’ve got so much more to watch! (“The Walking Dead”: Season 1 [Blu-ray])
  5. Screen Shot 2016-02-12 at 9.25.27 AMInstagram – I’ve been taking photographs since middle school (flip through my junior high yearbook … a bunch of work began right there) and Instagram has provided me a small audience to share my creativity with others. Sometimes there are a half-dozen selfies in a row and sometimes there are three-dozen “look what I made for dinner!” posts, but I really do have fun playing with lines and composition. (Diet Coke Fridge Pack Cans, 12 Count, 12 fl oz)
  6. a vanilla candle made by Wax and Oils Candles – Coop bought me a set of three for Christmas and then added a pumpkin to the mix. The vanilla scented candle makes the entire house smell as though I’ve been baking cupcakes all day long. The lavender and peppermint eucalyptus are both fine scents, but this vanilla takes the cake. (See what I did there?) (Wax & Oils Soy Wax Aromatherapy Scented Candles, Lavender, Vanilla & Peppermint Eucalyptus, (Pack of 3))

 

What did you celebrate with love this weekend?

 

*these links are Amazon affiliate links; if you choose to purchase something from one of these links, I get a teeny tiny portion of the cost as advertising income. I own many of the things I’ve linked here … and promise you I’ll only link you to things that I truly support

I’ve done this before

This blog is new, but blogs aren’t new to me. I grew up in front of a PC. I remember when I had timed sessions with the internet because each minute cost money! I actually miss using Google Reader (RIP) to keep track of my friends.

AOLIMloginThrough middle and high school, I used both AOL and ICQ to chat with friends after school and throughout the summers; it made living in the ICQchatcountry a little bit easier.

In 1999, I joined Xanga and used the very public forum to write about whatever I wanted. I’m sure there’s some sort of permanent record out there about what 17-year-old me had to whine about, but I don’t even remember my user names!

Livejournal-logoGoing off to college introduced me to LiveJournal and I met some of my life-long friends through this blogging platform. MySpace showed up and the flashy, glittery, auto-play of terrible “favorite” songs was introduced. I hated this. It was also during college, maybe sophomore year, actually, that I started using Facebook. My original Facebook account had a university email address — you needed that then!

 

Wedding-Channel-LogoI kept a very active blog on the Wedding Channel during my first marriage. I also met some amazing women who are still my friends through the platform available there. During this time, I started reading other blogs and seeing what the “professional” bloggers were doing.

plurkscreenshotPlurk was a short-lived, but massively far-reaching social network and micro-blogging site that I used regularly. I loved the quick pace and weird conversations I would have with people. I had multiple WordPress hosted blogs during this time, and changed my username about a million times. Thankfully, I’ve actually saved writing from this period in backup files and I do plan to skim it eventually.

twitterlogI went from microblogging with Plurk to using Twitter as a sounding board for each and every idea I had.

  • “Tuna fish for lunch? Yay or nay?”
  • “I’m going on my first blind date, call the police in three hours if I haven’t Tweeted.” (I survived. I’m gonna marry the guy I Tweeted about.)
  • “Ten minutes until the pharmacy opens. Battery at 18%. Target has swimsuits. I’m all sorts of confused today.”

I’m a huge fan of Twitter, and am somewhat anxious about the expansion of its character limit. I don’t know that I will enjoy Twitter as much if my feed is full of 10,000 character Tweets; it won’t be the same. I do keep my Twitter private, as when I was a teacher, it was a very safe outlet for me.

I wrote professionally on blogs with 451 Press and WEGO Health for years during and immediately after my divorce. Writing about health-related topics while earning a public health education degree allowed me to see the skillful writing that caught attention of online readers. All this time, I still had my own personal blog — though it was never big, or famous — and I was still meeting amazing writers from all across the country.

Screen Shot 2016-01-07 at 9.41.44 AMIn March of 2010, I was invited to be a beta user for Pinterest. I fell in love with the website and still have my original account. (I have since made a second, more up-to-date account.) I even have an old old email from Ben Silbermann with his personal phone number I received shortly after Pinterest started.

My love of photography solidified my interest in Instagram and I am a regular “this is my dinner” and “look at the back of my silly kid’s head” photo-sharer. If you’re interested in seeing life with a pre-schooler, please feel free to follow my Instagram account Sarrup11.

I’ve used both Blogger and Tumblr in the past as platforms to share thoughts, but ultimately always come back to WordPress. Selectively sharing my life with the outside world via the internet is not new to me, though my techniques and level of comfort with what I share has changed.

This blog is a glimpse into my life; this blog isn’t my whole life. I live offline and I make no promises as to what I will or won’t share. I am aware of the permanent public record most of the internet doesn’t talk about. I know my digital footprint is wide.

I’ve done this before.

 

Making plans

Screen Shot 2016-01-04 at 1.37.08 PM

“I never thought my life would revolve around folding tiny clothes and making a tall, blonde, chatty, seemingly-drunk pre-school aged dictator happy, but it has, and I love it

I had a plan once.

I had many plans.

I had books of plans.

The plans were neat, tidy, and went from point A to point Z with no stops at B or L or M. Not necessary. I had a plan.

Those books were some of the few possessions that made the cut when I moved from Oregon to California. The trunk where the books currently live is in need of refinishing, the books need a new home, and I’m looking for matches.

 

The books are full of plans that didn’t happen. The books are sad. The books show a depressive personality growing daily since middle school. They are full of dreams that were very very different than what I’m living now. The books are dark. The pages in these books are warped by time and tears and pain. The books are ugly.

I want to throw away the books.

I want to shred the books.

Actually:  I want to burn the books.

burnbarrel

put it in the round file

I don’t want to burn the books because my dreams didn’t come true. I don’t want to burn the books because it erases the feelings. I don’t want to burn the books because it will change my life. Ultimately I want the space, don’t want to lug them from home to home to home anymore, and since I never plan on sharing these with anyone, I can burn them.

Not every word in the books is worth burning; I’ll skim and save when I need to, but those books are going… right into the round and flaming file.

I think I’m done making plans until dinnertime. Then I’ll burn both.